Is it cruel to pick on the new kid? It's great in a lot of ways and adds some whimsy to the waterfront, but it is also the ultimate tourist trap. It's $14 for an adult ticket for those 12 and older, which is almost as much as it costs to buy a ticket to summit the Eiffel Tower. Let's avoid pretending we're something we're not.
Impress a girl by buying a pair of tickets here and waiting in line. Otherwise, catch fantastic (and free) views elsewhere. And avoid the neighboring arcade that shakes you down for cash.
seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Seattle Aquarium
Yes, the fishies are great, but perched on the waterfront, it's lumped in with so many other tourist traps in the area. And, at $29.95 per adult and $19.95 per kid? Yamma hamma.
Ted S. Warren/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Space Needle
Here's the 800-pound tourist trap in the room. The Space Needle is a lovely, quirky city mascot, but it's an uninspired choice. At $29 for "midday" general admission, there are so many less-touristy places to go.
JOSHUA TRUJILLO/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Ride the Ducks
OK, so it's kind of fun, even if you hate yourself while doing the captain-led dance moves while scooting through downtown. And it's interesting to experience this boat actually floating in Lake Union despite you being so sure you're going to sink.
But it's $35 for adults and $20 for kids. With an extra $2.50 if you want one of those obnoxious quackers.
That's quacked up.
JORDAN STEAD / THE EMERALD COLLE/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Chihuly Garden and Glass
Dale Chihuly's work is undeniably gorgeous, but it's another tourist lure, neighboring the Space Needle and all the other Seattle Center offerings. Would probably be great to see once, if you want to fork over the $29 ($24 for King County residents).
JOSHUA TRUJILLO/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: MoPop
Yes, it's cool, but when you get to the part where you can play instruments and sing, you have to wait in line for a lot of that stuff. Maybe make sure an exhibit you're interested in will be there when you visit.
JOSHUA TRUJILLO/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: The Monorail
Fortunately, the Monorail really doesn't cost much more (if anything) than a bus ride, and if you're going down that path, it's a cool option because you get to your destination in two minutes instead of having to make all the bus stops. But for how many people is that useful?
It's no longer 1962, so the downtown-to-Seattle Center route hardly makes sense for many people unless maybe you are, well, a tourist. No matter what end you start with, you have to pay to park, which always sucks. Then there are the squealing children and tourists trying to take glare-plagued photos out the window. And what are you looking at? Buildings.
Meryl Schenker/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Seattle Children's Museum
Verdict on this place? Kinda lame. It doesn't offer much for your money and it includes lots of toys parents probably have at home. Word of advice: Save the money on this place and spend more time at the Pacific Science Center, practically next door.
Karen Ducey/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Salty's
This West Seattle standard lures people with its views and schmanciness, but it's expensive.
JIM BRYANT/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: The 'original' Starbucks
Splitting hairs here: This Pike Place Market Starbucks, billed as the "original," isn't technically the original Starbucks. So can all the corporate coffee fanatics posing in front of the sign to snap pictures please stop blocking the walkway?
The first Starbucks opened in 1971 at 2000 Western Avenue, about a block away from this location. It moved to its current location, 1912 Pike Place, about five years later.
There are about 5 million other Starbucks within a few blocks' radius - maybe they have shorter lines than this one. Or, be uniquely Seattle and support a local coffee joint. Yes, Starbucks is "local," but you know.
RENEE C. BYER/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Tillicum Village
There's nothing more uniquely Northwest than exploring its native roots - the true Northwest. Tillicum Village, on Blake Island, offers the full experience, with a salmon bake, exploration time and performances. But you can only get there by boat and it's $84 per adult for a round-trip cruise and food.
KEVIN MORRIS/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Ye Olde Curiosity Shop
This delightfully morbid spot has both the blessing and curse of being located on the waterfront. It's a fly trap for tourists and, well, it's a fly trap for tourists. Good thing is, you don't have to pay to get in and can catch a glimpse of mummies and shrunken heads for free.
Dan DeLong/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Pike Place Fish Market
If you were from any other part of the country watching your home football team play against the Seahawks in Seattle on TV, you'd think the only point to Seattle was chucking large fish. And coffee. But for real, it seems like outsiders can't get enough of the airborne fish.
The fishmongers are affable and it doesn't cost anything to catch a glimpse of the action, but then you're part of the oversized sheep herd standing there Instagramming fish photos on your phone. You're blocking the people trying to get somewhere and, if you're really in the market for fish, there are plenty of other stands in Pike Place where you can get it cheaper.
ELAINE THOMPSON/seattlepi.com file photo
Trap: Mariners baseball
I say this as a long-suffering fan who dons Mariners gear come Opening Day and every week thereafter, but going to a game is hardly worth it anymore. Once the team faded and then the novelty of the once-spankin'-new Safeco Field wore off, the stadium became a racket, peddling ever-more-expensive tickets and food to see what no one can really call Major League baseball.
Even true fans get the urge to drink by the fourth inning, but can't because a crappy domestic brew is $12. What happened to the $6 tall boys at the Hit it Here Cafe?!
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Trap: Alki Beach
Sure it's beautiful, but uggggh so crowded. Anytime the sun breaks through the clouds, this place is packed, as if there's nowhere else to go. Same with Green Lake.
JOE DYER/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Pike Place Market
Yes, it's the most obvious choice in the city, and it is crowded and full of tourists, but it is truly a gem worthy of its reputation as a Seattle destination. It doesn't cost anything to get inside (except parking, likely) and it's a feast for the senses. Just, as previously advised, slink past the fishmongers and "original" Starbucks. Grab a piroshky.
Meryl Schenker/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Underground Seattle Tour
Yeah, a lot of people go here, but it's still awesome. The Underground Tour is a fascinating history lesson and just a cool experience. You can feel good about spending your money here.
JOSHUA TRUJILLO/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Ballard Locks
This is another automatic choice for many. But it's great for a stroll, a picnic, for the salmon run. Some places are popular for good reason. And it's free.
Karen Ducey/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Washington State Ferry ride
Leave the car behind (it's cheap that way) and take a round-trip to Bainbridge Island or Bremerton. It's a low-cost Puget Sound cruise with wonderful sights on either route.
JOSHUA TRUJILLO/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Harbor Steps
When you return from your ferry excursion, climb the Harbor Steps and grab dinner or drinks in downtown Seattle.
ROBIN LAYTON/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Fremont Troll
Those not from Seattle are charmed by Fremont's quirky bridgekeeper. Could be your next Facebook profile photo.
JOE DYER/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Klondike Gold Rush Museum
This quirky national park (yes, national park) in Pioneer Square highlights Seattle's role as a stepping-off point for the Alaskan Gold Rush. Pretty neat; cool for history nerds.
seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Carkeek Park
Tucked away in an unassuming corner of Seattle that straddles Greenwood, Broadview and Crown Hill is Carkeek Park, a watershed that includes forests, meadows, wetlands and a beach. The northwest Seattle park offers stunning views of Whidbey Island, the Kitsap Peninsula and Olympic Mountains - on a clear day, that is.
KAREN DUCEY/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Volunteer Park water tower
Want Space Needle-caliber views for free? Head to Capitol Hill's Volunteer Park and summit the water tower. Then enjoy the surrounding park.
KAREN DUCEY/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Burke Museum
It's affordable and there are dinosaurs. RAWR.
KAREN DUCEY/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Washington Park Arboretum
It's all great, especially the Japanese garden. A peaceful oasis in the middle of the city.
GRANT M. HALLER/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: St. Mark's Cathedral
Just head to the parking lot and check out the view of Lake Union and the Olympics.
DAN DELONG/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Seattle Art Museum
Act cultured and stuff.
LINDSEY WASSON/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Lakeview Cemetery
Martial arts fan? Check out Bruce Lee's gravesite.
HILDA ANDERSON/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Elliott Bay Book Company
Now that it has moved from Pioneer Square to Capitol Hill, it's less in the path of tourists. Get lost in the stacks.
GILBERT W. ARIAS/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Alki Point Lighthouse
Now this is an Alki destination we can get behind. You might have to drive through Alki Beach traffic to get there on a summer day, but it offers great views with fewer bros.
PAUL JOSEPH BROWN/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Center for Wooden Boats
For the maritime history fanatics, the Center for Wooden Boats on Lake Union has more than 100 historically significant vessels. Rent a boat to paddle or go on an interpretive tour of Lake Union. Then, what the heck, check out the Museum of History and Industry next door.
seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Unexpected Productions
For something interesting to do at night, check out an improv show at Pike Place Market.
Meryl Schenker/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Columbia Tower
Now here's a Seattle view. For cheapskates who don't need the official observation deck, grab an iced latte on the 40th floor Starbucks.
Joshua Trujillo/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Gum wall
While you're at Pike Place or headed to an Unexpected Productions show, contribute to the gum wall. Bring hand sanitizer.
Mike Urban/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Market Ghost Tour
Pike Place Market mostly shuts down at night, but then you can take a guided tour of the haunted side of the market.
Mike Urban/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Golden Gardens
This is another Seattle beach that crowds quickly on a warm day, but it is possible to find more empty nooks of the park if you walk far enough. And it's gorgeous.
Karen Ducey)/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Frye Art Museum
This museum offers free admission and contains a founding collection of late-19th and early-20th-century European paintings, as well as ever-changing exhibits and programs.
seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Olympic Sculpture Park
This urban park offers beautiful Elliott Bay views, as well as quirky art. Great for jogging and picnicking.
Walk north into Myrtle Edwards Park. Then keep walking north into Centennial Park. Vistas and pooches abound.
Grant M. Haller/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Discovery Park
Hike the loop trail, visit the beach, take the kids and dogs.
ANDY ROGERS/seattlepi.com file photo
Go:International District
Explore Uwajimaya and grab some dim sum at a hole-in-the-wall. This neighborhood offers some of Seattle's best food.
Scott Eklund/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Microbreweries
Seattle is heaven for craft beer lovers and new microbreweries are cropping up all the time. The breweries in Ballard alone can make up an all-day brewery tour. Tour Seattle by way of brews.
Joshua Trujillo/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Seattle Pinball Museum
Just pay admission and choose from more than 50 pinball machines to play, no quarters required. Play childhood favorites you never thought you'd see again, with beer.
Or, duck into Add-a-Ball, a tiny basement pinball arcade in Fremont.
AP
Go: Seward Park
Old-growth forest, jogging, long waterfront - forget you're in the city for awhile.
DAN DeLONG/seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Colman Pool at Lincoln Park
For sweeping views and a swim without wading into slimy seaweed, head to Lincoln Park in West Seattle. There, the Olympic-size pool includes a slide and a diving board with a fabulous Puget Sound view. Then dry off with a stroll on the beach.
seattlepi.com file photo
Go: Rat City Roller Girls
For much cheaper than a Mariners, Seahawks or Sounders game you can see athletes who are just as badass in a temperature-controlled environment. This ain't grandma's roller derby and it's about to become your new favorite sport.
at University of Washington or bring your own floatation device and set off into Lake Washington's Union Bay. You can paddle across to Washington Park Arboretum. Try to spot turtles on logs or eagles hunting for nesting material.
Joshua Trujillo/seattlepi.com
Go: Kubota Garden
It's 34 acres of Japanese landscaping with Northwest native plants. You'll feel like you left the city.
Go: Lake Union loop
In for an urban hike? Walk the 6-mile Cheshiahud Lake Union Loop, which encircles the lake and passes by several pocket parks, restaurants and swimming holes.
GRANT HINDSLEY/SEATTLEPI.COM
Go: Central Cinema
For indoor/nighttime fun, check out what's playing at the Central District's Central Cinema. They're famous for sing-alongs, trivia nights and screenings of old and contemporary classic movies. They sell out, so perhaps book your seats in advance. In addition to the wait service at the cinema, you can also hit up the Chuck's Hop Shop across the street for a massive selection of brews and ciders.
GENNA MARTIN, SEATTLEPI.COM
Go: Tractor Tavern
Especially if you're into folk, bluegrass or country, Ballard's Tractor Tavern is one of the city's best small music venues.
Amy Rolph/seattlepi.com
Go: Smith Tower
The observation deck, formerly known as the Chinese Room, was recently renovated into a speakeasy-type cocktail lounge. Buy a ticket to explore the exhibits detailing Prohibition-era Seattle and ascend to the observation deck in an old fashioned Otis elevator to take in some drinks and views.
GENNA MARTIN, SEATTLEPI.COM
Downtown Seattle, the waterfront and viaduct, which will be torn down in January 2019, are seen from the CoStar Group slow-speed research plane, May 31, 2018.GENNA MARTIN/SEATTLEPI.COM
Welcome tourists, to our fair city. To be honest, it's great, and you should treat it – and all Seattleites you encounter – with the proper reverence it deserves.
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And while you're here, there's plenty of beauty and splendor to take in. It doesn't matter if you're here on a day that is overcast with bitter winds, or if you're here on a gloriously sunny day and feel like you're missing out on the Seattle experience; the truth is the "true Seattle" experience is experiencing as many forms of weather as you can in one day.
Yes, that makes it a nightmare to pack; no Seattleites still won't feel sorry for you.
There are a number of ways to try to see the city -- off-beat tours, or getting as much as you can in just a day. It's up to you which nooks and crannies of the Emerald City you decide are worth your time, or at least a quick stop.
But be warned: Not all tourist spots are created equal.
It's not that the view from the Space Needle or the Great Wheel are underwhelming; they're fine! Good even! Fabulous, sometimes! It's just that some tourist traps are a lot of money, time, and lines, and don't take up as much of your day as you might've thought.
Then again, there are other spots that are definitely worth your time and curiosity: The Fremont Troll is a nice place to stop by on your way to stranger fare around town, and museums like The Burke or Seattle's Pinball Museum can be a blast.
We've compiled some ideas as to which are the good spots to hit while you're in our neck of the woods, and which ones you can leave on your tourism websites.
Click through the slideshow and see what you think.
